Friday, March 24, 2006


Sunday, March 19, 2006

Girls of New Orleans' FEMA Trailers

Playboy has been in town this week photographing a nude spread featuring hot babes posed in different suggestive positions in and around FEMA trailers.

Stay tuned!


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

El Stevo's Top 25

Hmm . . . I generally think in terms of albums or particular artists/songwriters, etc., and it changes from week to week, though not much has changed on my ipod since the unpleasantness as my computer was drowned in a foot of water. Nevertheless, here goes a try, and these are not neccesarily in any particular order:

1. Snowin on Raton - Robert Earl Keen's version of a Townes Van Zandt song
2. Get Behind the Mule - Tom Waits
3. All of the songs on The Montain - Steve Earle and The Del McCoury Band
4. Pancho & Lefty - Townes an Zandt

5. Hot Rod Lincoln - Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen
6. Baby Let's Play House - Elvis Presley

7. Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks
8. Love Comes in Spurts - Richard Hell & The Voidoids
9. Red Right Hand - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
10. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)? - Buzzcocks
11. Fort Worth Blues - Steve Earle
12. Telepone Call From Istanbul - Tom Waits

13. Goin Down to Mexico - ZZ Top
14. I Ain't No Goddam Son of a Bitch (You Better Think About It Baby) - The Misfits
15. Invitation to te Blues - Tom Waits
16. Whiskey River - Willie Nelson
17. Weary Blues From Waitin - Hank Williams (Sr.)
18. I'll Never Get Out of this World Alive - Hank Williams (Sr.)
19. Doreen - Old 97's
20. The Pilgrim - Kris Kristofferson

21. 504 - Old 97's
22. Filipino Box Spring Hog - Tom Waits
23. Hello Darlin - Conway Twitty
24. Waitin Round to Die - Townes Van Zandt
25. Waitin For My Man - Velvet Underground

Sunday, March 12, 2006

"The Rain Song"

My "Houstonian" friend, Andrew Curry and I use to have a great tradition of exchanging our top 100 songs via MP3, back when MPs players were the size of small toasters and some people still used dial-up. Andrew and I met at an Astro's game in 1999. He is a a really funny Trinity College grad who loves baseball, music and prize fighting even more than me and more than is probably healthy. He is a collector, or compulsive pop addict, I'm not sure which. During a big fight night pay-per view party, I was glancing over his CD collection and noticed that he had a lot of "Crowded House" CD's. I actually started making fun of it, until I realized that he had every CD Crowded House ever made, which I would have guessed to be about 4. It's more like 30 with all the Japanese bootlegs and England-only EP releases. Made me want to go down to the Mushroom, buy a MOD button and a "Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy" vinyl album just for old times sake. Odd choices we all make with our simulated freedom.
Anyway, his top 100 was always an interesting read and in turn to him, mine was usually a trip deep into the 70's, where only Ziploc baggies and perferated paper feel at home. The fun part was the ebb and flow of how music you were rediscovering or just hearing for the first time and how it would get slotted or move around. Many songs for me are just books of my bible, like "Ten Years Gone", "Thrasher" or "The River(So excited for Jazz fest.)" But, then something happens and you're driving to Atlanta and as you cross the state line you flip to a radio station playing "Midnight Train to Georgia" and it re-sorts your whole list. Or, you're deep in the middle of a love affair with a new act and their stuff is ranking higher than trusted classics because of novelty. Sometimes a song you literally hate sits high on the list just because you can still smell the beach when you listen to it. I use to have a theory that WRNO would play "The Rain Song" every time a late afternoon thunderstorm came down in August. I heard that song today. Of course, most of the time I am caught in some new sound, this week it's "Jack's Mannequin" So, anyway, here is the Otto top 25 at the moment. Would love to see some of the other blogger's lists.
Ten years gone-Led Zeppelin
Thrasher-Neil Young
The River-Bruce Springsteen
Black-Throated Wind-The Grateful Dead
Hello Stranger-Walter "Wolfman" Washington
Porcelain-Better Than Ezra
Breakdown-Jack Johnson
Death Of A Disco Dancer-The Smiths
Simple Man-Lynard Skynard
Willin'-Little Feat
Easy To Slip-Bob Weir
Spanish Moon-Little Feat
Lost In The Flood-Bruce Springsteen
The Rain Song-Led Zeppelin
I Stand Accused-Walter Wolfman Washington And The Roadmasters
San Tropez-Pink Floyd
Pocahontas-Neil Young
Perfect Blue Buildings-Counting Crows
Down By The Seaside-Led Zeppelin
Spiral-The Connells
I'm Alive-Jackson Browne
River Run-The Radiators
Black Peter-Grateful Dead
The Mixed Tape-Jack's Mannequin

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Can I borrow $250,000.000 please?

E-Bay Link HERE

The Rarest Most Sought After Sunglasses in the World!!
Elvis Presley's
Madison Square Garden Sunglasses

On June 9th and June 10th, 1972, music history was made. Elvis Presley took the stage at New York's world famous Madison Square Garden, and broke all attendance records by selling out all four concerts. He was the first performer to ever do so. 80,000 fans attended the shows, which grossed $730,000, tickets were $5, $7.50, and $10. It was an event. It was standing room only. and THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS!!
These are Elvis' Madison Square Garden sunglasses that I designed and made in 1972.

I Dennis Roberts, Hereby, Certify and Authenticate that the eyeglasses supplied to me for examination are the original eyeglasses I designed and made for Elvis Presley for the June 9, 1972 MADISON SQUARE GARDEN CONCERT. The "TCB LIGHTNING BOLTS" attached to the temples are from the original molds that I designed and made for Elvis from 1970 thru 1977. The emblems are made in 14kt yellow gold and have the "jewelers hallmark" stamped into them to denote their authenticity. Additionally, the temples have three (3) circular holes running horizontally that I designed exclusively for Elvis as worn at the MADISON SQUARE GARDEN CONCERT. The horizontal holes that I drilled into the temples were the result of a design take off from the aviator frames that I made for Elvis. Any reproduction of my designs are prohibited.

This is 1 of 4 glasses that I made for Elvis to wear at the Madison Square Garden Concert, and the only one known to be in existence today.
Hello. My name is Dennis Roberts. You can find my name in the book "ELVIS A-Z" on page 172 and in the "just released" book "ELVIS and YOU" on page 342, as Elvis Presley's optician that designed and made all of his eyeglasses from 1970-1977.


Sunday, March 05, 2006

Free Melons

In an interesting development, New Orleans' City Park, the fifth largest urban park in North America and the holder of the world's largest collection of mature oak trees, is - due to severe staffing issues and the fact that they are broke in the wake of Hurricane Katrina - now being overrun by watermelon plants.

With several hundred years of watermelon seeds from countless African-American picnics laid and buried upon the grounds of the park, the heavy and fertile waters of Katrina have forced a massive germination.

The one remaining greenskeeper simply just can not keep up with the wild melon growth and as this information has become common knowledge - another farming industry in southern Louisiana has fallen victim to Katrina.

Hopefully FEMA has been notified. In case this has not occured, please write your congressional delagates as to this unforseen plight of the Louisiana watermelon growers.


Saturday, March 04, 2006

the maturity to pause

The great joy in life, for a vidiot like me, is teaching my boy to play video games. As an only child in a home full of drunken intellectuals, I was left on my own to entertain myself. The Commodore 64, the Sinclair, the Atari, the Colecovision, oh, say it slowly, Colecovision. Asteroids, Pac-man, Dig-dug, Utopia and countless others. As I grew older, we moved to the IBM PC 8088, the Apple IIe, Wolfenstein, and then into college, I majored in Nintendo Tecmo Bowl, slipping chapters of The Brother Karamazov in between bong hits and touchdowns.

This year for his birthday, I gave my boy an X-box. Not for and infant or toddler, but a thumb-twitching pre-schooler, not wanting to be called little, and ready for action. The women at the party shrieked as he tore the packaging off. "He's too little to figure that out!" Oh, an X-box, he exclaimed not knowing what it did. I told him it’s a “Bideo game” in his dialect, so he might process it quickly. What’s that Daddy? Son, meet Pandora!

Months have passed and there are evenings, most evenings, after we eat dinner and review the alphabet, if he has gotten a “smiley” face at school, when he plays X-box. You start slow with Chicken Little or The Incredibles, maybe a little light Madden football 2005. Now, as he has learned and practiced, there have been times that he has had so much fun that it has made me just weep. We share in the pretending and celebrate the victories and strategize on faults in the defeats. For a few hours, what we want and do are identical and we are true friends.

We are selfish beings, evolved to feed desires of pleasure and self-preservation. Most everyone I meet is in a trance; just doing what it is that they have convinced themselves is what they want. Coveting some identity they read in a book or saw in a glass window or TV. It is how the world drives forward, addictively strung out on some path sewn between destiny and duty. And by no means am I immune to it, but at least I am self-aware. My myopia is on the table.

But a time of dual-purpose among humans is a great joy in life. It is the non-sexual simultaneous happy ending that makes human interaction worthwhile. And since I don’t have sex with strangers, old friends, co-workers, or my children, it is a treasure I am always on the lookout for it in external relationships.

So, today we upgraded. The boy became a crime fighter, Spiderman Video game. Since he wore his Spiderman suit all day on Mardi Gras in the unseasonably hot February sun chanting and begging, I thought he had earned it. So, after a long session of saving the day, accumulating hero points and swinging between the building tops of metropolis, my son wandered in and stated that he had pissed himself. Now, he has been potty trained for over a year and never makes a mistake. So, I have to inquire what happened. “Why did you wet your jeans, underwear and my bed?” I was in the middle of a mission. “Did you feel like you had to go?” Yes, Daddy. “Well, why didn’t you?” The citizens of metropolis needed me and I was fighting bad guys. Not bad, not bad at all. A pretty good answer. This kid is good. How can I be mad about that? “Look son, see this button, it’s the pause button, next time you feel like you need to go pee-pee just hit it and the game will wait for you. You can pause the bideo game? “Yes, son, go see your mother and get cleaned up, good night. I love you.” Good night Daddy, I love my Spiderman bideo game.
Pandora is back in the box for one more night. I wish I still could find the joy and passion in life to just piss myself, but I guess my trance just makes me pause when my duty infringes on my wants.


Friday, March 03, 2006

Jewish Nazi Illuminati Hitmen Conspiracy Explained

Wife or Whore?

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