theBATTURE.com: Culled Straight From al Jazeera

Iranian's who are apparantly still smarting from a sad footnote in their decade long war with Iraq in the 1980's today protested New Orleans Chef Emeril Lagasse.

Having gotten wind of Lagasse's recent remarks where he badmouthed the struggling city of New Orleans which is still reeling from the devastation of Hurricane Katrina and the city to which he owes his fame, many took time off from protesting some Danish cartoon and instead took to the streets demanding his tongue on a platter.

Explaining, many protestors tearfully described how it reminded them of a then young Commander's Palace Chef Emeril Lagasse, who in a fit of idealism and still having not made a name for himself, took a leave of absence from the restaurant to open up a soup kitchen in the southern Iranian town of Dezful. Here he fed wave after wave of Iranian suicide attackers made up of mainly nine year-old children armed only with red scarves around their brows.

After there for only a week, he began badmouthing these human wave attacks, reportedly stating, "There done." to a Tehrani journalist.

Upon hearing that Chef Lagasse had slipped back into kicking people who are down, these large crowds came out to support the New Orleans people chanting, "GASSY IS NASTY", "CARPETBAGGER EAT YOUR OWN DAGGER" and "SOUP ZIONIST". Many carried placards reminding the world-famous Chef that their nine year-olds actually did eventually halt the advance of Saddam's armies thereby allowing them to win their terrible struggle.

Strangely, Chef Lagasse either lost his old idealism or was to busy evacuating mounds of cash from New Orleans, but he was never moved enough to cook for the relief workers rescuing thousands of his neighbors, including in all liklihood some that worked for his three New Orleans restaurants, while many of New Orleans' top chefs did open their restaurants doors.

It has been verified that Emeril instead preferred to continue on yet another cookbook tour and promptly fired his entire New Orleans staff two days after Katrina struck.

Word on the New Orleans and Arab Street is that "He's done" in New Orleans.

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